{"id":128,"date":"2013-11-17T17:05:27","date_gmt":"2013-11-18T01:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/?p=128"},"modified":"2013-11-18T08:45:52","modified_gmt":"2013-11-18T16:45:52","slug":"intermission-ii-april-2009-forgive-me-by-ed-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/?p=128","title":{"rendered":"Ed Park<\/strong>: Intermission II: April 2009\u2014\u201c Forgive Me\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Intermission II: April 2009\u2014\u201c Forgive Me\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2014Morning, Trix.<\/p>\n

\u2014Morning, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014What\u2019s the good word?<\/p>\n

\u2014Another letter from Awk.<\/p>\n

\u2014Awk?<\/p>\n

\u2014The A.A.U.W.C., Asian Americans United Writers\u2019 Cooperative.<\/p>\n

\u2014Have I done anything for them?<\/p>\n

\u2014No.<\/p>\n

\u2014Never?<\/p>\n

\u2014Not as long as I\u2019ve been sharpening your pencils.<\/p>\n

\u2014I could have sworn I did a fundraiser\/reading\/thingie for them back in \u201903, \u201904.<\/p>\n

\u2014You must be thinking of something else. Awk was only started last year by the playwright Mungo Kwon and the novelist Deedee Lee.<\/p>\n

\u2014Did Mungo Kwon write that play about the Chinese guy?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes.<\/p>\n

\u2014I think I saw it. Wasn\u2019t it a movie?<\/p>\n

\u2014No.<\/p>\n

\u2014Then I didn\u2019t see it. Who\u2019s Deedee Lee?<\/p>\n

\u2014She wrote a novel based on her upbringing, called Chinese Whispers<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\u2014Sounds familiar. Was that an Oprah book?<\/p>\n

\u2014It wasn\u2019t an Oprah book per se\u2014it wasn\u2019t featured on the show, but Deedee was profiled in the magazine.<\/p>\n

\u2014Oprah has a magazine?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes. It\u2019s called O<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\u2014O<\/i>, of course. I didn\u2019t realize that was hers. Could you get me a copy of the profile?<\/p>\n

\u2014The profile of Deedee? Sure. That won\u2019t be a problem.<\/p>\n

\u2014If there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve learned, it\u2019s that you should always keep tabs on the competition. Can you find out if Cee-cee\u2019s writing another book?<\/p>\n

\u2014Deedee, boss. She has a memoir coming out in the fall.<\/p>\n

\u2014Fuck! Is it good?<\/p>\n

\u2014I\u2019ll try to get a galley when they\u2019re available.<\/p>\n

\u2014Is she older than me?<\/p>\n

\u2014She was born two years later.<\/p>\n

\u2014Good looking?<\/p>\n

\u2014She is attractive.<\/p>\n

\u2014Let me rephrase that: Is she better looking than me?<\/p>\n

\u2014I couldn\u2019t say, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014I know. It\u2019s apples and oranges, men and women. But if you had to choose? If you were, like, bi-, and had to choose?<\/p>\n

\u2014What are you doing to your hair?<\/p>\n

\u2014What?<\/p>\n

\u2014You just patted down the front and fluffed out the back.<\/p>\n

\u2014What? No. That\u2019s\u2014my hair sometimes looks like that. Come on. Me or Deedee. Which is it?<\/p>\n

\u2014I suppose I\u2019d choose you, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014That\u2019s what I want to hear, Trix.<\/p>\n

\u2014I dodged a bullet.<\/p>\n

\u2014Is she single?<\/p>\n

\u2014She\u2019s married.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kids?<\/p>\n

\u2014I\u2019ll find out. So should I tell you what Awk wants?<\/p>\n

\u2014What\u2019s Awk?<\/p>\n

\u2014AAUWC, the Asian American United Writers\u2019 Cooperative.<\/p>\n

\u2014Right, right. Tell me what Awk wants.<\/p>\n

\u2014They want to know if you\u2019ll participate in a fundraiser they\u2019re co-curating with Patrick Pending and the Asian American Relief Fund.<\/p>\n

\u2014Who\u2019s Patrick Pending?<\/p>\n

\u2014It\u2019s a gallery in Chelsea.<\/p>\n

\u2014Never heard of it. Wait, did they do the Dark Red Paw exhibit? All the letters glued to the walls? You had to take a tab of acid before you went in?<\/p>\n

\u2014I don\u2019t know. I can find out.<\/p>\n

\u2014Dark Red Paw. Native American artist. True story: I knew him as \u201cEdward Park,\u201d we have the same name. Dark Red Paw\u2019s an anagram. He\u2019s not Iroquois, as he claims on his W-2s.<\/p>\n

\u2014I can check about whether Pending did a Dark Red Paw show.<\/p>\n

\u2014That\u2019s my Trix. Actually, don\u2019t bother. What\u2019s the story with this Asian American Relief Foundation?<\/p>\n

\u2014Asian American Relief Fund<\/i>. It appears to be an organization that gives money to various Asian American groups in need.<\/p>\n

\u2014Presumably right back to Awk. Sheesh. I don\u2019t know, Trixie. This stinks to me. It stinks to high heaven. But I do sometimes feel like I need to \u201cgive back\u201d to the community.<\/p>\n

\u2014Awk\u2019s request is not without interest, boss, if I may say so myself.<\/p>\n

\u2014You may.<\/p>\n

\u2014They want to know if you could write a three to five minute work of fiction or creative nonfiction from the point of view of a pet from the movie of your choice.<\/p>\n

\u2014Eh?<\/p>\n

\u2014Like, you could do something in the voice of Benji or Lassie. Or one of the animals in The Incredible Journey<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\u2014Why would I want to do that?<\/p>\n

\u2014For charity, but also, I don\u2019t know, you keep saying how you need to kick-start your novel. This might be the way to do it.<\/p>\n

\u2014Amazing.<\/p>\n

\u2014What?<\/p>\n

\u2014Amazing, amazing. These people amaze me, Trix. The things they ask! Jeez Louise. Could I do Toto from the Wizard of Oz<\/i>?<\/p>\n

\u2014I\u2019m sure that\u2019s an option.<\/p>\n

\u2014Well, what if Chang-rae Lee\u2019s already doing Toto?<\/p>\n

\u2014There\u2019s room for more than one Toto story, I\u2019m sure. Toto\u2019s such an iconic canine.<\/p>\n

\u2014I bet Amy Tan is doing a Toto story. Chang-rae and Amy. She just loves dogs.<\/p>\n

\u2014Does she?<\/p>\n

\u2014Won\u2019t go anywhere without one. Not me. I just eat them! OK. Let\u2019s put that letter on the back burner for now, Trixie.<\/p>\n

\u2014You\u2019ve got a lot of things on that burner, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014I know, I know. But I\u2019m in the middle of writing my novel and I can\u2019t really commit to stuff.<\/p>\n

\u2014You said last week you were stuck.<\/p>\n

\u2014Never mind what I said last week.<\/p>\n

\u2014And you said it the week before.<\/p>\n

\u2014Trixie, you went to St. Paul\u2019s, with a postgraduate year at Deerfield, then Harvard, Wharton, Goldman Sachs, Enron, did some time at a little startup called Google. You\u2019re a brilliant young woman, but there\u2019s a lot you don\u2019t know about how the literary game is played.<\/p>\n

\u2014I\u2019m sure you\u2019re right, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014Haven\u2019t you ever heard of dis<\/i>information? Sometimes I\u2019ll tell you stuff because I want you to think<\/i> things are going badly. But it\u2019s what poker players term a bluff.<\/p>\n

\u2014So things are<\/i> going well with your novel.<\/p>\n

\u2014Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, can we move on? Finish this mail call? What else do you have for me?<\/p>\n

\u2014A bill for\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2014Don\u2019t talk about bills<\/i> right now, OK? Bill me no bills, Trixie, and I\u2019ll, I don\u2019t know what I\u2019ll do. What else. Any checks? I heart me some checks.<\/p>\n

\u2014No checks.<\/p>\n

\u2014Some big-ass royalty checks for thirty thousand, seventy thousand dollars.<\/p>\n

\u2014No checks, I\u2019m afraid.<\/p>\n

\u2014What about for that piece I dusted off for that journal, Arcane Nexus<\/i>?<\/p>\n

\u2014You already got it and put it in the account.<\/p>\n

\u2014How much?<\/p>\n

\u2014Fifty.<\/p>\n

\u2014Fifty thousand dollars?!<\/i><\/p>\n

\u2014No, just plain fifty dollars. Five-zero.<\/p>\n

\u2014OK. I was expecting nothing, so that\u2019s a bonus of fifty smackeroos. We\u2019ll get lunch next week. You and me, Ayurveda Caf\u00e9.<\/p>\n

\u2014Sounds good. Should I make a reservation?<\/p>\n

\u2014Nah, screw the rezzies, we\u2019ll wing it.<\/p>\n

\u2014You\u2019ll forget we had this conversation, boss.<\/p>\n

\u2014No I won\u2019t. Look, I\u2019m writing it down.<\/p>\n

\u2014You\u2019re writing it on a dry-cleaning receipt that you\u2019re going to put into your pocket and forget.<\/p>\n

\u2014I won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u2014You will. It will become a Vermont-shaped clump that will bounce out of the dryer.<\/p>\n

\u2014No it won\u2019t. Now come on. What else ya got? The Parkian mailbag. Come on, Trix. The fun stuff. Let\u2019s have it.<\/p>\n

\u2014Let\u2019s see. Another invitation to be on a panel. On Beckett.<\/p>\n

\u2014I already said no to a Beckett panel.<\/p>\n

\u2014No. You said no to a Kafka panel.<\/p>\n

\u2014I did?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes.<\/p>\n

\u2014Why did I say no to a Kafka panel?<\/p>\n

\u2014I don’t know. Maybe you thought it was a Beckett panel.<\/p>\n

\u2014Listen: Beckett panels I’ll say no to automatically, unless there’s a significant honorarium. Like more <\/i>than fifty bucks, ha. Kafka panels, you check with me first.<\/p>\n

\u2014I did. You said no.<\/p>\n

\u2014Probably I thought you said Beckett. Are you sure you didn’t say Beckett instead of Kafka?<\/p>\n

\u2014Quite sure. In fact, I didn’t say anything. I forwarded you the e-mail and you wrote back.<\/p>\n

\u2014What did I say?<\/p>\n

\u2014You said, Tell them no.<\/p>\n

\u2014Can you forward me that e-mail?<\/p>\n

\u2014Sure.<\/p>\n

\u2014And print it out.<\/p>\n

\u2014Sure.<\/p>\n

\u2014I probably meant to write yes.<\/p>\n

\u2014Your message was in all capital letters and said TELL THEM NO.<\/p>\n

\u2014Next time, double-check that I understood you were saying Kafka, not Beckett.<\/p>\n

\u2014What about Bernhard?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes, what about<\/i> Bernhard?<\/p>\n

\u2014There’s also this Thomas Bernhard panel. Next month.<\/p>\n

\u2014Did I say yes or no?<\/p>\n

\u2014You haven’t said anything. I put it in your inbox over a week ago.<\/p>\n

\u2014My virtual box or my real wooden box?<\/p>\n

\u2014Real wooden.<\/p>\n

\u2014I didn’t see it.<\/p>\n

\u2014But you did. You mentioned it to me on Friday.<\/p>\n

\u2014How was my mood? Elevated, depressed?<\/p>\n

\u2014Elevated.<\/p>\n

\u2014Did it sound like I wanted to attend?<\/p>\n

\u2014It was hard to tell. You just said, Bernhard!<\/i> really loudly, and cackled.<\/p>\n

\u2014I don\u2019t cackle<\/i>. That\u2019s what I call a power laugh. It makes people think I\u2019m approachable, yet also makes them nervous. They want me on the panel then, eh?<\/p>\n

\u2014They want you to moderate.<\/p>\n

\u2014Moderate! Ha!<\/p>\n

\u2014Well, will you?<\/p>\n

\u2014Well, should I?<\/p>\n

\u2014How are you feeling about Bernhard these days?<\/p>\n

\u2014How am I what about who?<\/p>\n

\u2014Thomas Bernhard. Misanthropic Austrian writer. Your thoughts at the moment.<\/p>\n

\u2014What? I’m sorry, Trixie, I was distracted.<\/p>\n

\u2014Are you online again?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes.<\/p>\n

\u2014I\u2019m standing in the doorway and you\u2019re online? Are you buying stuff on eBay?<\/p>\n

\u2014No. I’m updating my blog. Every writer should have one, as my publicist says.<\/p>\n

\u2014I shut down that blog. Per your instructions.<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes. But I had it on a mirror site as well.<\/p>\n

\u2014I don’t even know what that means.<\/p>\n

\u2014I don’t either, but the fact remains that my blog still exists, and upwards of 14 people check it out every day, from lengths of 0 minutes and 0 seconds to 23 minutes at a time, though I think that 23 is me.<\/p>\n

\u2014You’re supposed to be writing your next book. You’re supposed to be “on hiatus” from your blog, and not checking e-mail, save for the messages that I send to your secret e-mail address, the one nobody knows about, not even your mom. What did you put up on the blog?<\/p>\n

\u2014Oh, just some pens\u00e9es on this Nabokov panel I want to go to but can\u2019t make. Also some links to this great photography site I discovered. All the models have tanlines and freckles.<\/p>\n

\u2014Which Nabokov panel? The one in Montreal or the one in Ithaca?<\/p>\n

\u2014The one in Brooklyn. I seriously need to look into cloning myself. They\u2019ve cloned dogs; can they clone people?<\/p>\n

\u2014No. And no more web for you. I want a full report: What else did you do yesterday and this morning, online?<\/p>\n

\u2014Nothing.<\/p>\n

\u2014Out with it.<\/p>\n

\u2014I watched one of those Hitler meme videos, you know from Downfall<\/i>, where he\u2019s in the bunker, shouting? People are putting different subtitles under that shit. Like, Hitler can\u2019t get a ride to Burning Man.<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes, I know.<\/p>\n

\u2014It\u2019s really funny! You think it will stop being funny, after the tenth one, but it\u2019s still really funny!<\/p>\n

\u2014YouTube is a black hole\u2014your<\/i> words.<\/p>\n

\u2014Even the ones that aren\u2019t funny are funny.<\/p>\n

\u2014That\u2019s it, boss. I\u2019m removing it from your browser. What else?<\/p>\n

\u2014I also \u201cliked\u201d some friends\u2019 posts on Facebook.<\/p>\n

\u2014I took down your Facebook profile.<\/p>\n

\u2014Um, I put up another one?<\/p>\n

\u2014When?<\/p>\n

\u2014Um, this morning?<\/p>\n

\u2014And refriended all your old friends? How long did that take?<\/p>\n

\u2014Not long.<\/p>\n

\u2014How long<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\u2014An hour. OK. About two hours. And a half.<\/p>\n

\u2014And how many words have you written today?<\/p>\n

\u2014The thing about words, Trixie, listen to me, the thing about words is that it doesn\u2019t really matter how many of them you\u2019ve written. They have to be the right<\/i> words, do you understand? What good would it do for me to write a thousand words a day if they all have to be weeded out later? I might as well write no words!<\/p>\n

\u2014You\u2019re telling me you\u2019ve written nothing. And yesterday, nothing as well, I presume.<\/p>\n

\u2014If you\u2019re talking about actual words on actual paper, then yes, I wrote nothing. But a writer like me, there\u2019s a lot going on in my head, this constant dialogue, really more of a three- or four-way conversation\u2014a panel discussion, if you like. Whenever I choose I can just transcribe what I\u2019m hearing.<\/p>\n

\u2014Fascinating, boss. Absolutely transfixing. You\u2019re a genius. It\u2019s no wonder you were a finalist for the Asian American Literary Award.<\/p>\n

\u2014I lost to Jhumpa Lahiri. Trixie! Where are you going? Why are you getting your umbrella?<\/p>\n

\u2014I can\u2019t believe I quit Google for this. For you. What an incredible waste of time.<\/p>\n

\u2014But you\u2019re learning! This is what it\u2019s like\u2014the writing life!<\/p>\n

\u2014Goodbye, boss. Or I suppose I can just say \u201cEd\u201d now.<\/p>\n

\u2014Trixie, don\u2019t do anything you\u2019re going to regret.<\/p>\n

\u2014You still haven\u2019t read the novella I gave you three months ago. You have no time for anyone but yourself.<\/p>\n

\u2014I did read it! It was good!<\/p>\n

\u2014Tell me one thing about it.<\/p>\n

\u2014Good characters!<\/p>\n

\u2014Name one of them.<\/p>\n

\u2014Trixie, that\u2019s not fair. You\u2019re putting me on the spot.<\/p>\n

\u2014Tell me the title.<\/p>\n

\u2014The title?<\/p>\n

\u2014Yes. The words on the top of the first page, and every page thereafter.<\/p>\n

\u2014Uhhhh.<\/p>\n

\u2014I can\u2019t say I\u2019m surprised. Thanks for the opportunity, Ed. Good luck on the novel.<\/p>\n

\u2014Oh, Trixie. Come back. Forgive me! Wait\u2026that was the title, wasn\u2019t it? Your novella\u2014it was called \u201cForgive Me.\u201d Trix? Hey, Trixie? Hello?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ed Park is the author of the novel <\/em>PERSONAL DAYS and a founding editor of <\/em>THE BELIEVER.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Intermission II: April 2009\u2014\u201c Forgive Me\u201d   \u2014Morning, Trix. \u2014Morning, boss. \u2014What\u2019s the good word? \u2014Another letter from Awk. \u2014Awk?...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":140,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","category-issue_one"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/variety.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":167,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions\/167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cronymag.com\/c\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}